How's it going everyone, I know I know. I keep saying I'll write more often but I never get the chance to.
Well tomorrow is my last day of finals for this semester then I have about 1 1/2 weeks of break before summer classes start. I'm hoping to get my car washed sometime during this small break, cause it needs it...bad. =P
But yeah, life is going great! there's some bumps in the road here and there, but it's all worth it, I wouldn't trade it for anything. =)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I'm still alive!
Hey everyone, yes I'm still alive =P
there's been a lot going on lately:
school, having a bunch of tests and homework.
work has been stressful and frustrating lately.
and a lot of family and personal stuff going on too.
but I am finding and keep reminding myself God is still there during this chaos, guiding and directing me.
so yeah. just wanted to let yall know I'm still alive and haven't fallen off the face of the earth, yet =P
hopefully once I get some of these things straightened out I'll be able to post more regularly.
Here's a few pictures from Rekindle 09. I took a bunch, but I don't want to upload ones that have friends in them, without their consent, to protect their privacy, etc.
So this was out on the beach the first night we arrived:
This is one of the rooming buildings:
This is where we had our meetings and heard the preaching:
There was a quote on the wall that read:
"The Gospel is not something partial or piecemeal. It takes the whole life, there is no aspect of life but that the Gospel has something to say about it. The whole life must come under it's influence because it is all-inclusive. The Gospel is meant to control and govern everything in our lives." - Martyn Lloyd Jones
We had a couple of pretty amazing sunsets
We had a couple of people get Baptized so that was awesome.
Yeah Rekindle 09 was really good. I think the Lord met a lot of people there =)
there's been a lot going on lately:
school, having a bunch of tests and homework.
work has been stressful and frustrating lately.
and a lot of family and personal stuff going on too.
but I am finding and keep reminding myself God is still there during this chaos, guiding and directing me.
so yeah. just wanted to let yall know I'm still alive and haven't fallen off the face of the earth, yet =P
hopefully once I get some of these things straightened out I'll be able to post more regularly.
Here's a few pictures from Rekindle 09. I took a bunch, but I don't want to upload ones that have friends in them, without their consent, to protect their privacy, etc.
So this was out on the beach the first night we arrived:
This is one of the rooming buildings:
This is where we had our meetings and heard the preaching:
There was a quote on the wall that read:
"The Gospel is not something partial or piecemeal. It takes the whole life, there is no aspect of life but that the Gospel has something to say about it. The whole life must come under it's influence because it is all-inclusive. The Gospel is meant to control and govern everything in our lives." - Martyn Lloyd Jones
We had a couple of pretty amazing sunsets
We had a couple of people get Baptized so that was awesome.
Yeah Rekindle 09 was really good. I think the Lord met a lot of people there =)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I'm Back!
Well this is going to be short =P but I just wanted to let yall know I'm back from Rekindle 09! It was Awesome!!! and right now I'm pretty much the Happiest man on earth =P so yeah. I'm tired, it's good to be back! maybe I'll post some pics from Rekindle soon!
Friday, February 20, 2009
what's going on
Hey everyone, I know it's been a while so I thought I'd let y'all know what I've been up to. Well, as I was writing this the phone just rang. And turns out my application for International Student Volunteers has been accepted! Which means, if I can get enough money I'll be going on a trip! You can check it out at http://www.isvonline.com So I'm pretty excited right now, I'm just wondering how it will work out with summer classes and stuff. So we'll see.
God is sooooooo AWESOME! These past couple weeks for me have been AMAZING! God's just been opening up opportunities for me right and left. It's amazing. I think 2009 will be one of the best years of my life! I'm just so excited I can't think of what to say so I'm just going to stop now!
GOD IS AWESOME!!!!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Anything or Anyone...
Well last night we visited the Odell's Care Group. I thought it was good. We talked about Joe's message from a week or two ago, which I missed because I was doing worship for children's ministry. But he also tied it in with the worldliness book, which was cool. But the question that stood out to me most was, What thing if taken from you would outrage you? (or something like that). Like if your iPod was taken from you and you could never have it back, would you be outraged? I thought about it and for the most part if my stuff was taken away from me, sure I'd be mad for a little while, but then I'd get over it pretty quickly. For me it wouldn't be my stuff. It would be people, or to be more specific, a certain person. God's been working on my heart showing me that I can't have anything or anyone above Him. Which is a real struggle for me. Phillipians 4:13.
It's only by God's Grace that we can do anything right.
It's only by God's Grace that we can do anything right.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day
I'm not sure what to write so....yeah
But I did want to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
Maybe I'll think of something to write later.
But I did want to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
Maybe I'll think of something to write later.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Ephesians 3:13-21
Ephesians 3:13-21 So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory. For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What God's Been Up To....
Well late last year, 2008, God gave me a desire to help the children (orphaned, impoverished) in other countries that are less fortunate than I am. Not only children, but mostly children.
A few years ago I had gone to a concert and they were talking about Compassion International, a child sponsorship program. It costs $32 a month to sponsor a child. My dad had said something then about wanting to sponsor a child, but we didn't have the money to do so. But ever since then I've been wanting to sponsor a child, but not as much as I did when God started working in my heart.
Well, late last year (like I said before) I was really wanting to sponsor a child, or help out someone in some way. My parents don't have enough money, and neither did I. But I really wanted to. So I tried to think of ways I could get the money. Maybe work more? But that would be too rough going to school and all. Cut back on spending? Still didn't have enough money with bills and everything. I couldn't figure out a way to be able to sponsor a child.
I really wanted to sponsor a child so I had been looking at the pictures they had online of all the children that needed sponsors. I had saw a few that I was just like, "I really want to sponsor that one!" But I didn't have the money, and a few days later they got sponsored by someone else. I started praying more. I thought, "Lord, if you really want me to do this, I know You'll provide a way." Then one day when looking at the pictures of the children I saw one that made me think, "I have to sponsor that one!" So I started praying even more. But then that child got sponsored by someone else.
Well it was now December and about time to renew the insurance on my car. So I got on to their site and logged in, check everything out and to my surprise my insurance had dropped down $35! I was so excited! I knew what I was going to do with the $35 a month I was saving on car insurance! God had provided the right amount of money I need to sponsor a child! Since it's $32 a month then I'd still have some left over to help pay for stamps to write letters! I was overwhelmed with Joy! So I started praying about who God wanted me to sponsor. I kept getting on and looking at children from different countries, different ages, etc. And then I found one that I felt like God wanted me to sponsor. So on Christmas Eve I got registered and picked that person!
I am now sponsoring Andriani who is 16 and lives in Indonesia.
And it's such a wonderful feeling to be able to help others out, to be able to give! Now I'm hoping to be able to go on missions trips in the future, sponsor more children, maybe even adopt some children. And I'm constantly trying to find ways I can help out others.
You should check out Compassion International and also Holt International.
Holy International is a child adoption agency but you can also sponsor children to help provide them with good food, medical care, and the things they need until they get adopted .
A few years ago I had gone to a concert and they were talking about Compassion International, a child sponsorship program. It costs $32 a month to sponsor a child. My dad had said something then about wanting to sponsor a child, but we didn't have the money to do so. But ever since then I've been wanting to sponsor a child, but not as much as I did when God started working in my heart.
Well, late last year (like I said before) I was really wanting to sponsor a child, or help out someone in some way. My parents don't have enough money, and neither did I. But I really wanted to. So I tried to think of ways I could get the money. Maybe work more? But that would be too rough going to school and all. Cut back on spending? Still didn't have enough money with bills and everything. I couldn't figure out a way to be able to sponsor a child.
I really wanted to sponsor a child so I had been looking at the pictures they had online of all the children that needed sponsors. I had saw a few that I was just like, "I really want to sponsor that one!" But I didn't have the money, and a few days later they got sponsored by someone else. I started praying more. I thought, "Lord, if you really want me to do this, I know You'll provide a way." Then one day when looking at the pictures of the children I saw one that made me think, "I have to sponsor that one!" So I started praying even more. But then that child got sponsored by someone else.
Well it was now December and about time to renew the insurance on my car. So I got on to their site and logged in, check everything out and to my surprise my insurance had dropped down $35! I was so excited! I knew what I was going to do with the $35 a month I was saving on car insurance! God had provided the right amount of money I need to sponsor a child! Since it's $32 a month then I'd still have some left over to help pay for stamps to write letters! I was overwhelmed with Joy! So I started praying about who God wanted me to sponsor. I kept getting on and looking at children from different countries, different ages, etc. And then I found one that I felt like God wanted me to sponsor. So on Christmas Eve I got registered and picked that person!
I am now sponsoring Andriani who is 16 and lives in Indonesia.
And it's such a wonderful feeling to be able to help others out, to be able to give! Now I'm hoping to be able to go on missions trips in the future, sponsor more children, maybe even adopt some children. And I'm constantly trying to find ways I can help out others.
You should check out Compassion International and also Holt International.
Holy International is a child adoption agency but you can also sponsor children to help provide them with good food, medical care, and the things they need until they get adopted .
Be Prepared
Yesterday at work, I was unprepared.
A co-worker saw my family's graduation ring, which has II Timothy II:XXII (2:22). She asked what it meant (she couldn't make out what it said) and I told her it was 2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. And then she asked me, "So are you a religious person?" Dumbfounded I answered, "yeah, somewhat, why?" Then she asked me a question, if God loves everyone so much why does he let bad things happen to children? She said, I was sexually abused when I was 12, why did God let it happen? Why does God let children suffer? I was, as I said before, dumbfounded.
I never thought that in a million years this co-worker would ever talk to me about God or anything related. I had worked with her before a few times and well, let's just say it wasn't all that fun.
I was speechless. One, because I was caught off guard. And two, because I honestly didn't 'know' what to say. I answered her question as best I could. But I couldn't give a definite answer.
After this she started asking other questions like, how could Jesus not have sinned? I tried to answer all of her questions. But I feel like I was insufficient, (which I am).
After she had left work I remembered these verses:
1Peter 3:13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?
1Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
1Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,
1Peter 3:16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
When I first started working at Hardee's I was ready to go and share the Gospel with all of my co-workers. Because my brother Aaron had been working there for about 6 months before I started, and God used him to lead a man he worked with to Salvation (which is an amazing testimony, because according to Aaron, he was one of the worst guys to work with). And there've been several times where I shared the Gospel, debated religions and stuff with fellow employees. But after being there for a while my zeal to witness at work has faded. But God is bringing that fresh zeal back and I'm getting fired up again!
So basically I'm writing this to remind and encourage everyone to be prepared and to always be mission minded. Read your Bible. Be ready to "make a defense" and be able to provide answers to those who are lost. And always be looking for opportunities to witness, whether it be at school (which is one place I'm starting to try and work on), at work, or a complete stranger you meet in the grocery store.
A co-worker saw my family's graduation ring, which has II Timothy II:XXII (2:22). She asked what it meant (she couldn't make out what it said) and I told her it was 2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. And then she asked me, "So are you a religious person?" Dumbfounded I answered, "yeah, somewhat, why?" Then she asked me a question, if God loves everyone so much why does he let bad things happen to children? She said, I was sexually abused when I was 12, why did God let it happen? Why does God let children suffer? I was, as I said before, dumbfounded.
I never thought that in a million years this co-worker would ever talk to me about God or anything related. I had worked with her before a few times and well, let's just say it wasn't all that fun.
I was speechless. One, because I was caught off guard. And two, because I honestly didn't 'know' what to say. I answered her question as best I could. But I couldn't give a definite answer.
After this she started asking other questions like, how could Jesus not have sinned? I tried to answer all of her questions. But I feel like I was insufficient, (which I am).
After she had left work I remembered these verses:
1Peter 3:13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?
1Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,
1Peter 3:15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,
1Peter 3:16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
When I first started working at Hardee's I was ready to go and share the Gospel with all of my co-workers. Because my brother Aaron had been working there for about 6 months before I started, and God used him to lead a man he worked with to Salvation (which is an amazing testimony, because according to Aaron, he was one of the worst guys to work with). And there've been several times where I shared the Gospel, debated religions and stuff with fellow employees. But after being there for a while my zeal to witness at work has faded. But God is bringing that fresh zeal back and I'm getting fired up again!
So basically I'm writing this to remind and encourage everyone to be prepared and to always be mission minded. Read your Bible. Be ready to "make a defense" and be able to provide answers to those who are lost. And always be looking for opportunities to witness, whether it be at school (which is one place I'm starting to try and work on), at work, or a complete stranger you meet in the grocery store.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Falls Apart by Thousand Foot Krutch
It falls, apart, from the very start, it falls apart.
It falls, apart, from the very start, it falls apart.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
I wish I could but I don't,
Always keep the promises I've kept.
I wish I could, but I can't,
Always give, whatever I have left.
And now it's all so clear,
Doesn't anyone see what's happening here?
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
I know I should, but I don't,
Always say, what you want me to say.
I know I could, but I don't,
Always act, like everything's ok.
And now its all so clear,
Doesn't anyone see what's happening here?
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
When I walk away from-
Everything I, have ever been made of
Hates who I am, I'm so glad you waited.
Can't get my mind, off how you could love me
I'm so behind, you're so far above me.
And you'll always be
The wind under my wings, above me.
And you'll always be
The wind under my wings, above me.
I will not let it go to waste
I'm takin all, I got, and leaving this place and
I will not, let it go to waste
I'm taking all I got, and leaving this place and
I will not be taking up space
I'll take my best shot
I'm picking up the pace.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you...
It falls, apart, from the very start, it falls apart.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
I wish I could but I don't,
Always keep the promises I've kept.
I wish I could, but I can't,
Always give, whatever I have left.
And now it's all so clear,
Doesn't anyone see what's happening here?
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
I know I should, but I don't,
Always say, what you want me to say.
I know I could, but I don't,
Always act, like everything's ok.
And now its all so clear,
Doesn't anyone see what's happening here?
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
When I walk away from-
Everything I, have ever been made of
Hates who I am, I'm so glad you waited.
Can't get my mind, off how you could love me
I'm so behind, you're so far above me.
And you'll always be
The wind under my wings, above me.
And you'll always be
The wind under my wings, above me.
I will not let it go to waste
I'm takin all, I got, and leaving this place and
I will not, let it go to waste
I'm taking all I got, and leaving this place and
I will not be taking up space
I'll take my best shot
I'm picking up the pace.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
It falls, apart, from the very start it
Falls apart, seems like everything I touch,
Falls apart, everything around me
Falls apart, when I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you.
When I walk away from you...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
In the Mission 28 Care Groups over last semester and continuing into this semester we've been going through the worldliness book:
Well, last semester I put off reading it instead of trying to make time to read it. But this semester I've got some several hour breaks between classes, and since I can't figure anything else to do (don't really have anyone to talk to), I've actually got around to reading this book. And if you haven't read this book I suggest you do!
It's eye opening, to say least. More like convicting. I've only read a couple chapters and I can already see where I've placed things in my life higher than God, which isn't good. I've actually had to skip chapter 3 because we were going over chapter 4 tonight. But I'm kinda scared to read chapter 3 because as you can tell from the title of the chapter, 'God, My Heart, and Music', it's about music. And so after reading it I'll probably be examining the music I listen to more closely, and then going through my iPod and deleting a ton of songs. But if I'm to follow Christ with my whole heart, my entire life, is it really that bad? Am I really going to "miss" listening to a few songs or artists?
I really like the part in chapter 2, 'God, My Heart, and Media', where Craig Cabaniss talks about Living Coram Deo. He says, "Coram Deo is a short Latin phrase packing a potent punch: 'before the face of God.' All aspects of our existence--from private thoughts to public words and actions--are lived out before his face." Which is something that is so easy to forget. Everything we think and do God sees. While watching a movie, or listening to music, we don't think about it being Coram Deo. Just think, if God was right beside us would we not think twice before going to see a movie? Or listening to certain songs or radio stations?
Just something to think about.
I could write some more but I don't want to bore anyone or waste too much of their time, so this will be the end of this post.
Well, last semester I put off reading it instead of trying to make time to read it. But this semester I've got some several hour breaks between classes, and since I can't figure anything else to do (don't really have anyone to talk to), I've actually got around to reading this book. And if you haven't read this book I suggest you do!It's eye opening, to say least. More like convicting. I've only read a couple chapters and I can already see where I've placed things in my life higher than God, which isn't good. I've actually had to skip chapter 3 because we were going over chapter 4 tonight. But I'm kinda scared to read chapter 3 because as you can tell from the title of the chapter, 'God, My Heart, and Music', it's about music. And so after reading it I'll probably be examining the music I listen to more closely, and then going through my iPod and deleting a ton of songs. But if I'm to follow Christ with my whole heart, my entire life, is it really that bad? Am I really going to "miss" listening to a few songs or artists?
I really like the part in chapter 2, 'God, My Heart, and Media', where Craig Cabaniss talks about Living Coram Deo. He says, "Coram Deo is a short Latin phrase packing a potent punch: 'before the face of God.' All aspects of our existence--from private thoughts to public words and actions--are lived out before his face." Which is something that is so easy to forget. Everything we think and do God sees. While watching a movie, or listening to music, we don't think about it being Coram Deo. Just think, if God was right beside us would we not think twice before going to see a movie? Or listening to certain songs or radio stations?
Just something to think about.
I could write some more but I don't want to bore anyone or waste too much of their time, so this will be the end of this post.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Beautiful Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli
Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli
Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful
Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face
(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace
(Chorus)
Artist: Francesca Battistelli
Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful
Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face
(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace
(Chorus)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Serving
A very good friend of mine wrote on her blog about serving, in particular about serving in care group through playing guitar for worship. So this post is basically a reply to that post telling about my experience with leading worship in care group.
To quote her, "I hear people talk all of the time how they love to serve, or want to serve. Myself being included in those people. But now when I have the chance to serve God with my talent, that He gave in the first place to use for His glory, I shy away from it. What a hypocrite I am!"
I was exactly the same.
Over the past few years I've had different attitudes/feelings/thoughts (whatever the word is I'm looking for) about playing guitar (leading worship) in my care group. When I was first asked to play & lead worship I was excited, nervous, and I hate to say it but prideful. I was excited that I'd get to play my guitar, which I hadn't played in a while, and it gave me a reason to play. I was nervous hoping I wouldn't mess up. And I was prideful because I was thinking about how everyone would get to hear "how good I was".
Well after a while I didn't get as many "good jobs" and such, but I still played. But over time I grew bored of leading and started to not wanting to do it. I had thought several times about quitting. But God kept me in there.
After a while God started working on my heart, changing my view, attitude, feelings, & thoughts. I had been reading my Bible and Bob Kauflin's blog and God started showing me how my heart was in the wrong place. Bob Kauflin had just been writing about leading worship and it's importance, and the right view of it. God totally changed my heart about leading worship. I started playing for Him and not for me. He gave me a love for leading others in worship and I no longer dreaded it or did it unwillingly. It became a time where I could use my God given talents to worship Him and help other's enter in to worship. God humbled me, and I'm glad He did!
I'm currently not leading worship in care group because we're having to look for another care group (our care group leader left), I miss leading worship. But now God has opened up the door for me to lead worship down in the children's ministry as part of the traveling band. Which is wonderful because at the end of last year God had given me a desire to help children, not just children but also orphans and others who are unfortunate. But that's a whole other post or more.
Also, here's a verse (among many) that's helped me out with that, and also here lately with work, Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. - Good New Bible
I just thought about what if whatever you did was really for and in the presence of God (well it is but, if you could see Him, and talk to Him directly). Wouldn't our whole attitude, zeal, and everything else be different than what it is now?
And to my friend, don't be nervous and worry about messing up. Remember who you're playing for. =) I've messed up plenty of times, and God still lets me keep my hands. =P
So I'm not sure if this was just a bunch of rambling or if I should have posted this, or if it will encourage or help anyone out or not................so until the next blog post, ăăăȘă。(sayonara)
To quote her, "I hear people talk all of the time how they love to serve, or want to serve. Myself being included in those people. But now when I have the chance to serve God with my talent, that He gave in the first place to use for His glory, I shy away from it. What a hypocrite I am!"
I was exactly the same.
Over the past few years I've had different attitudes/feelings/thoughts (whatever the word is I'm looking for) about playing guitar (leading worship) in my care group. When I was first asked to play & lead worship I was excited, nervous, and I hate to say it but prideful. I was excited that I'd get to play my guitar, which I hadn't played in a while, and it gave me a reason to play. I was nervous hoping I wouldn't mess up. And I was prideful because I was thinking about how everyone would get to hear "how good I was".
Well after a while I didn't get as many "good jobs" and such, but I still played. But over time I grew bored of leading and started to not wanting to do it. I had thought several times about quitting. But God kept me in there.
After a while God started working on my heart, changing my view, attitude, feelings, & thoughts. I had been reading my Bible and Bob Kauflin's blog and God started showing me how my heart was in the wrong place. Bob Kauflin had just been writing about leading worship and it's importance, and the right view of it. God totally changed my heart about leading worship. I started playing for Him and not for me. He gave me a love for leading others in worship and I no longer dreaded it or did it unwillingly. It became a time where I could use my God given talents to worship Him and help other's enter in to worship. God humbled me, and I'm glad He did!
I'm currently not leading worship in care group because we're having to look for another care group (our care group leader left), I miss leading worship. But now God has opened up the door for me to lead worship down in the children's ministry as part of the traveling band. Which is wonderful because at the end of last year God had given me a desire to help children, not just children but also orphans and others who are unfortunate. But that's a whole other post or more.
Also, here's a verse (among many) that's helped me out with that, and also here lately with work, Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. - Good New Bible
I just thought about what if whatever you did was really for and in the presence of God (well it is but, if you could see Him, and talk to Him directly). Wouldn't our whole attitude, zeal, and everything else be different than what it is now?
And to my friend, don't be nervous and worry about messing up. Remember who you're playing for. =) I've messed up plenty of times, and God still lets me keep my hands. =P
So I'm not sure if this was just a bunch of rambling or if I should have posted this, or if it will encourage or help anyone out or not................so until the next blog post, ăăăȘă。(sayonara)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Why do I do?
Well let's see I'm happy, sad, mad & confused all at the same time. I'm happy because "someone" cares. I'm sad because of my sin. I'm angry at my self for sinning. And I'm confused at how I could let past sins come back and take hold of me, so now I'm having a hard time fighting it like never before. It's one of those sins you hope nobody ever ever ever ever ever finds out about. It's really hard because whenever I tried to run to God and draw closer to Him, satan, the world and sin are fighting me harder than ever before, and I can't seem to break loose. I tell myself I won't sin, then I sin. I tell myself, I'm going to read my Bible, i don't read. I pray and struggle daily to get free. Why do I do what I don't want to do, and I don't do the things I know I really should do? Please pray that God would give me the strength to fight this, and that He would bring me back to Him.
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